Back to Running

Part of this experience was supposed to include more running.  However, it was harder to do that considering the sun goes down at 5ish.  Well, now the days are getting longer and I don't have to study the difference between unilateral and bilateral contracts, so I can pick up the frequency of my runs.

My new running shoes were on my front doorstep when I got home on Tuesday, after Day 1 of the exam.  I love my Brooks Adrenaline because they always fit just right so I don't have to bother with shoe shopping (which I cannot stand).

I went for a quick 3 mile run tonight with the dogs and got back just as it was getting dark. Hopefully, I'll get up to a 7 mile run this month. I can do 5 without much problem, so I think 7 is reasonable.

And now I don't have to listen to bar prep on my Ipod while running.  Ahhhh....

Done

Done.  5 months after I got the "unsuccessful" letter, I am done with Bar Exam, Take 2.

After today, I feel almost the same as I did the last time, which I think is a good thing, considering I only missed it by a point.  I paced myself better, but still did not have enough time.  I always wonder how people finish 30 minutes early.

This time, I felt like I was able to eliminate wrong answers much quicker, yet I wasn't always happy with the answer I was left with.  MBE practice reminds us to select the "best" answer, though it might not always be right.

After today, I don't want to hear anything about landlords and tenants, nor anything to do with deeds.  I don't care who recorded first.  I don't care if the municipal library was adversely possessed or not.  

We need to average about 6 points per essay and about 65% right on the MBE in order to pass in NC.  That means that getting 70-80 questions out of 200 wrong is "normal."  Knowing that doesn't make the dreadful feeling of failing go away. The solace is knowing that people do pass this and many feel equally as ambushed as I do right now.

I am tired.  Drinking wine and listening to Howard Stern.  I put away my bar prep materials because I am just tired right now and really don't want to see these green books ever, ever, ever, again.

What's done is done and now the challenge is knowing that there is nothing I can do now to change my results.  I passed, or I didn't.  The thing about failing is that you lose that innocence/ignorance of knowing what failing feels like.  I wonder if that makes it easier...if I don't pass, I know I'll survive.  I'm just really ready to get this under my belt.

Blurbs as an Essay

The Evidence question regarded exclusion of witnesses.  Evidence is one of my best subjects and I blew this question.  But, to my defense, I'm betting everyone else did too.  The applicable law needed to answer it is 3 lines in the big BarBri book and 3 lines in the NC distinctions section.  Rule 615.  Ask me anything about hearsay and I've got you covered.  But, exclusion of witnesses in a civil trial (which is very different than a criminal trial)...all wrong.  It almost seems unfair to premise at least 6 of my precious evidence points on a rule that occupies 1/100th of the entire subject matter of evidence to be covered on the exam.

All I can hope is that Rule 615 comes up tomorrow on the MBE so that I can recover a point, out of the 6 I lost today. Sigh....

The rule (maybe I got a few points since I said the party witness should not have been excluded):
Rule 615. Exclusion of witnesses.
At the request of a party the court may order witnesses excluded so that they cannot hear the testimony of other witnesses, and it may make the order of its own motion. This rule does not authorize exclusion of (1) a party who is a natural person, or (2) an officer or employee of a party that is not a natural person designated as its representative by its attorney, or (3) a person whose presence is shown by a party to be essential to the presentation of his cause, or (4) a person whose presence is determined by the court to be in the interest of justice. (1983, c. 701, s. 1.)

Day One, Done

And, in case any of you are wondering...it doesn't feel any better.  There is still the feeling that I didn't do enough, but I've learned that that's a common feeling.  I've been doing well on multis, so I hope that tomorrow I can do well enough to recover for any deficiencies today.

A few questions were relating to topics that I had at least a 6 point knowledge of (we're told we need to average 6 points an essay to pass).  And, on the topics I didn't know so well, I think I may have managed at least 6 points on those.  And, then of course, there are a few questions where my score will depend on how others answered, so that is my hope for the Secured transactions question regarding a bankruptcy trustee and bank accounts.  It was question #12 and I had only 15 minutes left to answer it.  I don't think extra time would have given me more time for a better answer, but one can only hope that no one else knew a lick about set-offs and bankruptcy.

I shared a table with another person who failed in July by one point.  I hope he passes, too.  If anyone ever wanted to depict "WTF?,"  I'm sure that they would see that look on our faces after a bar exam session.

You can study and study and study and get hit with something you've never seen.  You can give it your all and still feel like it wasn't enough.  We just won't know until 5 weeks from now whether we are minimally competent enough.

So, while I had intended to completely rest tonight, I am going to look over some MBE stuff for insurance.  Of course, I'll do that over a glass of wine...

Decanting

Enjoyed coffee and a strudel at Copa Vida this morning as I went over those 100 key flashcards. Got groceries for the next few days (half-and-half since my sweet lab decided he wanted to drink the pint I had left on the counter, and eggs and bread for my packed with protein breakfast sandwich).  Picked up Girl Scout cookies I ordered.  Cleaned the house.  Went to the gym.  Got a pedicure (chose a fun purple for some odd reason).  Finally "got" the difference between spousal privilege and marital privilege and scribbled the stick-person image on a wadded up receipt in my purse. Went to dinner with the beau.  Now, sitting on the couch and drinking wine. Clothing is ready for tomorrow (fleece yoga pants and a fleece pullover). Backup wake-up calls are scheduled.  Snacks are packed (not like we can bring anything in...) and my admission ticket is under my car keys.  I am as ready as I'll ever be.

I am so tired.  I can't believe the bar exam is finally here.  I am going to do my best and that's all I can do. :)

Wish me luck....

Closing the Books....for good

And the time to close those big green books has finally come.  Finally.  In a way, these past 6 months have flown by.  On the other hand, I feel like I've been studying forever.

I didn't get as much done today as I thought I would, but I think I figured out why.  Adrenaline pushes us to study more, train more, etc.  I just didn't feel like I need to have a final "push" today.  I made flashcards for Civ Pro, Mortgages, and did a few other cards for some definitions/rules that I always seem to forget.  I've had a plan this time and I've stuck to it.

I re-read the July 2008 exam.  I can see now that I could have answered  some of those questions better than I did.  That being said, since I only missed it by one point, I am a bit concerned that the bar would have given me a license to practice considering those answers. It really it a test of minimum competence...you just can't be minimally competent on some things and completely incompetent on others.

I think I know all I can know to pass this test on Tuesday/Wednesday.  All of my books and outlines are now reduced to about 200 index cards that I will flip through tomorrow.  And then I'll relax for the rest of the day.

To my fellow re-takers:  I wish you all the best and hope to see you on the other side of the bar very soon!

To my law school friends: thanks for all of your support and kind words over the past months...I am honored to have such wonderful colleagues.

To other friends: thanks for believing in me and for always having a beer with me, whether I pass or fail.

To my family:  thanks for being there for me when I got the bad news and thanks for always reminding me that my performance on this exam is not a measure of who I am.

To V:  thanks for being so understanding of my need to study and for listening to me go on and on and on about what I've been studying, and most importantly, being a shoulder to cry on when I feel scared or overwhelmed.  

I truly hope I will not have to go through this again. It is a learning experience and it has been an opportunity for a lot of personal growth.  But, I really really really really do not want to go through this again.

That all being said....it's time for bed.

Fizzling out

Today's goal was to look at Civil Procedure, Family Law, Mortgages, Contracts/Sales, PR, and then review.  So far, done with Civ Pro and Family Law.  But, it's 3 p.m. and I am just running out of steam.  Realistically, I know I can finish up with those other topics before dinnertime and then enjoy a beer with my flashcards.

I'm just tired of looking at these BarBri outlines.  Tired of writing.  Tired of reading.  Tired of having my cat bite my hand while I type.  Tired of chewing on all of my pens. Tired of index cards.  Just plain tired.

Just a few more hours....

The Saturday Before

Last night, I had a bit of a breakdown.  I did 100 released MBE multis and did quite well, so that allayed some fears.  However, I still am trying to balance the need to feel in control of this beast and the consequential need to know everything.  I know it's not logical, nor reasonable, to know everything that could be tested on Tuesday and Wednesday.  Nonetheless, the more I know, the more in control I'll feel....or so I think.

After the boo-hooing, I poured a glass of wine and got back to studying.  I made flashcards of critical concepts that I either need to know cold or don't quite know so well.  I finished up Torts and Secured Transactions.  This morning, I knocked out Real Property, Criminal Law, and Criminal Procedure.  I am going to work on Evidence and Contracts/Sales while I watch the UNC game.

But, despite the breakdown last night, I feel OK.  I just took a few minutes to clean up the house.  Tonight, I'm heading out to a nice dinner for a work function with the boyfriend.  I doubt I'll get any more studying done after that and you know what...that's quite OK.

 Tomorrow's plan includes flashcarding for Civil Procedure, Family Law, Mortgages, and Professional Responsibility.  Then I'll pour a glass of wine (or a beer) and read over some of those not-so-commonly-tested-but-not-going-to-press-my-luck topics like Trusts, Suretyship, and such. And then more flashcards of the big topics.  And then more flashcards.  And then more wine.  And then more flashcards.  And then....

Monday I will rest.  I'll go for a run, do some yoga, get a pedicure, maybe watch a movie....

There comes a point when you just can't add any more info to your brain's capacity.  Sometimes it's necessary to let it "sit" for a while....like when you open a cellared bottle of red wine.

Monday will be for decanting.

Facebook Statuses

While out running, I started thinking about some law concepts in terms of a Facebook status. Here are some I thought of along the way (a nice, sunny, 3 mile run with my pups):

• Sarah is glad her neighbors don't have a reasonable expectation in the trash and recycling they put out on the curb because she likes seeing who else likes good beer and shops at Costco.
  
• Sarah wonders if her neighbors know that if their dogs (who are on invisible fence) ever attack her dogs while running in the street, they will be held strictly liable for injuries, especially because they've seen the dogs attack others before.
• Sarah would be strictly liable for injuries her cat causes others because her kitty is known to bite.  
• Sarah wonders if running with 2 dogs and an Ipod (not this time, though) would make her contributorily negligent if she got hit by a car.  Surely though, the driver would have had the last clear chance to avoid the accident.
• Sarah hopes she never has to go on to her neighbor's property to protect herself because they have a very nice garden that would cost a lot to repair.
• Sarah thinks that our current president is managing his exclusive powers to handle foreign affairs quite well.
• Sarah wonders if the police ever caught the vandals who stole our Obama signs---they should have been charged with larceny and trespass.
• Sarah thinks people should stop trying to sue restaurants when they find a feather on a chicken wing or a small bone in their fish.
• Sarah will gladly perfect your cash if you give it to her.
• Sarah owns her house in fee simple absolute, subject to her bank's mortgage.
• Sarah thinks Dook players should be held liable in tort (battery) for their flagrant fouls that appear to exceed the scope of consent for a college basketball game.
• Sarah would set up an honorary trust for her dogs, but wonders who she could appoint to enforce it without thinking it was a joke.
• Sarah doubts the Simultaneous Death Act and the 120 hour rule would apply to above-mentioned trust for dogs if the dogs happened to die at the same time.
• Sarah admits she relies on  reliable authoritative texts to make some decisions.

• Sarah's arguments on Tuesday will prevail in "court," unless some unforeseeable, intervening, superseding event occurs.

A trust is....

Those were my first thoughts this morning upon awakening.  My last thoughts before bedtime involved involuntary dismissals and being taxed for the costs of the action.  In a week from today, I will be finishing up lunch before embarking on the last session of the bar exam.

I've gone through essays and written out rules.  I've done multis.  Yet, sometimes I still feel like I can't possibly remember all of this for the bar exam....and then I wake up thinking about the definition of a trust, and I realize I know what it is.  And, just like that came out of nowhere this morning, it will similarly make itself available for regurgitation on Tuesday.

Last night, I was reading some posts on a forum for people taking the bar and was surprised to see how many had unsupportive significant others.  I am definitely lucky in that regard.  Now, if he would just take the test for me, I'd be a happy woman.  I know I'm not alone when I speak for other bar exam takers---the support of family and partners means more than they'll ever know---

Today's plan:

Massage--already done (didn't realize how much tension I've been storing in my body)

Lunch-already done (need to be reminded to eat)

Finish Yellow BarBri book.

Write out important rules for my weaker subjects (Secured Transactions, Mortgages, Sales).

60 PMBR multis.

Tomorrow:

February and July 2007, and February and July 2008 bar exams

Review 2005, 2006 exams that I did yesterday

60 PMBR multis

Friday:

100 Question Timed 2006 MBE (new questions)

Write rules for weak topics.

Saturday:

100 Question Timed BarBri or PMBR set

Review weak topics/concepts

Dinner with SigO

Sunday:

1 hour each major NC topic (review outline, write out rules)

Monday:

Long workout at gym

Long walk with dogs

Dinner with SigO

Long Bath

Glass of Wine

Yoga

Tuesday:

Are you ready to rumble?????

(As a writer, I'll be in the Dorton Arena, home of the Carolina Rollergirls--I think I'll try to adopt a Rollergirl attitude as I knock those questions out of play.)

OK, back to studying....

Brick Walls and Breaks

9 days until the big day and I am just.not.motivated. Maybe it's the prospect of a whole week to memorize NC law ad nauseam and write essays and look at old exams?  Maybe it's the fact that I've now been studying for the bar Exam for about 5 months (adding in my July study time) and I'm just sick of the UCC, the FRE, the NCRCP, the UPA., the MPC, et.al.?  In fact, the only acronyms I am interested in these days are ACC and WTF. 

My dear friend (who passed the bar in July) says that this week before the exam should be best utilized to "manage anxiety."  Somehow I feel like I should study 12 hours a day for the next week, but I just don't think that's a realistic goal.  Last time, with a week to go before the exam, I was still looking at NC topics for the first time since the BarBri lecture (that I hardly paid attention to due to my inability to sit still and watch anything on a screen).  I was still learning about priority in consumer goods, fixtures, defamation, etc.  This time, I've already done that, so the feeling that I need to cram is just not present this time.  I'd like to think that's a good thing.  Still, the prospect of writing an essay for real is still scary, but motivating.  I know I will know as much as I can know come next Sunday and honestly, that's all I can do.  At this point in the game, studying an extra 2-3 hours a day is useless if it causes me more anxiety and stress.

In good news, I'm scoring about 70% on MBE multis and I've improved my timing.  I will still do 30 multis a day until Saturday, when I will do a 100 question set (timed).  I will do all of the essays in the BarBri yellow book and I will write out complete answers for the past 3 years of old NC exams.  I will outline the essays for another 3 years of essays.

I will also get a massage on Wednesday and I will go out to run a few afternoons this week.  I will also make sure to get enough sleep so that I don't get sick before the exam.  I am managing my anxiety.

I did go for a study break beer on Friday night.  I also enjoyed a nice dinner out with the wonderful sig other who is certainly tired of hearing me talk about this test.  He (very politely) suggested that I try to take a break from it for a few hours last night, which I interpreted as him telling me he needed a break from hearing about it.  Nonetheless, it was nice to talk about all the fun things that are coming up after the exam.  Breaks are good.  Relaxing is good. But...

9 days???!!!!   WTF?

GO HEELS!!!!!

I studied hard today so that I could watch the UNC-Duke game without (much) guilt.  I knocked out 8 hours of studying and finished Contracts.  

I then allowed myself to enjoy a Foothills Sexual Chocolate beer (love this stuff!) and then  Merlot Aged Belgian Brown Ale, aged in a Merlot barrel, at Horniblows (Big Boss).  

And, most importantly, UNC WON!!!!!  101-87!!!!!!!!!!   Go HEELS!!!!

Tomorrow, it will be time to get back to the books (must finish Sales, Secured Transactions, and Civil Procedure).

But, at the least, it was nice to feel like something was more important than the bar exam today.  Even if I had stayed at home and studied, I probably would not have gotten much done.  One thing that's hard to do while in the home stretch of studying is balancing the need to relax with the omnipresent need (compulsion?) to study.  I'd like to think a 90/10 balance is healthy...at least for the next 2 weeks.  

The good thing is that I will be done with the Bar exam by the time the next UNC-Dook match-up rolls around.  And, in my ideal world, the Heels will be playing for the Final Four the weekend that I get my passing results.

GO HEELS!!!!!

You Know You're in the Bar Exam Study Zone when...

• Cleaning the house brings you an odd sense of comfort...or stress (sweeping the floor seems so easy and I see results immediately)

• You get flustered at even the slightest challenge in the real world because you just need to know that you can be right about something (after studying a topic all day and then only get 50% of multis right, and that's "normal")

• You eat the same thing for dinner most meals because you've already figured out how to prepare it and because it provides some nourishment (nachos are healthy, right?)

• You'd rather go grocery shopping than do another essay about archaic doctrines and rules about Shelley, Wild, Pullman, and M'Naghten

• And when you *do* go grocery shopping or out to eat, you wonder if the boss has negligently hired or retained the cashiers who are possibly embezzling (or just stealing) the money that you're giving them for that can of Diet Coke that might explode and harm you and the sweet old lady next to you who might have a heart attack and die and as you go to help her, you slip on a wet spot on the floor caused by a leaky roof that the manager knew about when he entered into the lease to rent the building....

• You desperately want to spend time with your significant other and know that it would be a good thing to relax for at least a few minutes, but you also know that it's easy to get distracted when you're not studying...and, if you think going through this hell is bad once...try going through it twice. ;)

• You repeat to others your study schedule not because they care, but because it soothes your nerves.

• You feed your pets scrambled eggs because you can't seem to remember to buy food for them.

• You find yourself enjoying things you don't usually enjoy, like watching reality shows.  Or, you start doing new things that you don't really have time for, but provide some respite from statute memorization.

• You miss being with your friends and family, but you also know they understand.  You call them up on purpose just to hear "You'll do fine!" even though you get a little perturbed when other people tell you that.

• You are constantly amazed at how much crap can fit into your brain and likewise, constantly amazed at how quickly you forget 99% of that.

So, 14 more days. Two weeks.  I finished up Property today, leaving only Contracts to finish by Wednesday.  I will take a break to watch the UNC/Dook game and I will also allow myself to not worry about getting much done during the game.  And, I am taking Valentine's evening off from studies.  One thing a friend reminded me is that during this time, us bar-takers become self absorbed.  She didn't say that directly, but it's true...it's another way you know you're in the "zone"...it's all about me right now, which means I'm not being the best friend, the best daughter, nor the best partner.  I have learned during this process of re-taking not to take those important people for granted.  So, if it means listening to my friend talk about her work issues, or listen to my sig other talk about beer and politics, or listen to my mom talk about her family challenges, I do it with pleasure and without regret that I maybe should have been studying instead of chatting.  But, in the end, I need those conversations as much as they do...to remind me of what is important...love and friendship definitely trump the Rule in Shelley's Case.

70 Degrees and Beginning to Sweat

It's going to be another 70 degree day today and I beginning to sweat.  I am hoping to do some studying in my backyard, in the sun, while my dogs take naps in the grass and dream of squirrels.  I, on the other hand, will see if I can finally understand those rules of law that I haven't been able to get (recording statutes,  third party beneficiaries, privilege and immunity clause of 14th Amendment, etc.).

Property will be done today, as well as about 20 multis in Torts, Crim Law, Evidence, and Con Law. Tomorrow I will start Contracts (my last MBE topic!!!!) Come Wednesday evening, I will be in all review mode.

16 days until the Big Day.  I will be writing the exam in the Dorton Arena, which is alternatively used for roller derby games and concerts for the State Fair.  I am already trying to figure out what I will wear that day because somehow I am guessing that the temperature controls will be wacky.

I am getting a bit more nervous, but also a bit more confident.  I still have 16 days.  I only have 16 days left.  

 

La Copa Vida

Just wanted to add a shout out to my new campground for the next 17 days--Copa Vida Coffee in Durham.  I'm probably an odd coffeeshop customer during bar exam time--I want good coffee, loud enough background music to drown out conversations that I would otherwise be tempted to listen in on, good coffee, good lighting, and...no internet.  Big coffee chain that shall not be named, but rhymes with Daddy Warbucks, usually has no free wireless, but, their coffee is...well, it's not from locally roasted beans, can be bitter, and comes in a coffee cup that has become a new status symbol.   

Why don't I like it when there's internet?  If I don't have it, then I'm not tempted by it.  Pretty simple.

Now, before I have people correcting me about Copa Vida's wireless access, I will note that they actually do have wireless.  It's just password protected.  So, when very friendly barista asked if I wanted the code, I declined, knowing that I could get it at any time, should I need to.

Lo and behold....guess what happened?  I finished Mortgages in 3 hours flat.  

Durhamites, please go support this cafe.  In doing so, you support a local business in 2 ways, since they use Counter Culture coffee.

Needless to say, I've found my non-alcoholic watering hole.

Got my Ticket

It's official.  I'm taking the NC Bar Exam in 18 days.  I admit that, until I received the admission ticket in the mail, I secretly hoped that one of the letters from the Bar Association would say that they had made a mistake in grading my exam, and that, indeed, I did pass.  It's a good thing I've been studying because I don't see that happening.

It's another Friday night that I will spend with my books.  For "fun," I will go to a coffee place and study.  The wonderful beau is having fun this weekend and I will be having fun with....property.

I'm back to drinking Emergen-C every day just to keep the sickies at bay.  

Today was my last full week of work until after the bar. 

18 days.  

Torts, done!

Topics left: Property, Contracts, Secured Transactions, Civil Procedure.

Reminiscing on July, I remember that I was still making posters of outlines a few days before the exam.  By typing up the BarBri outlines and adding NC distinctions and my own mnemonics, I am essentially doing the same thing I did in July (making posters).  However, this time around, I will have a full 2 weeks to review, review, review, review.  Last time, I was looking at some topics for the first time (other than the 3 hours from Barbri class where I had a very hard time sitting still to watch a videotaped lecture) just days before the exam.  Add my July study to this study and I am finally feeling quite comfortable with most topics.  Once I do memorization drills and essay practice, I'm sure I will feel even better.

I will pass the bar.

Frustration of Purpose and Confusion of the Issues

Two legal phrases that best describe my mental state right now.

Last night, after scoring 78% on an Evidence practice set, I decided to go to bed. I was late anyway, but I did finish Evidence. For some reason, I decided to take my July 2008 Bar Exam essays to bed with me. Bad idea.

My undergrad degree is Education, so I learned how to test students and also how to give feedback. I was reminded last night that the bar examiners who write (and grade) those exams are lawyers, not teachers. For one, having essays with no writing on them to indicate where I did get points left me wondering where I really went wrong, especially when my essay covers the same things as a "model" essay. Was it my knowledge of the law that didn't come through as coherently? Did I not say the magic phrase? Second, knowing my score on an essay is almost useless if you don't know the overall range of scores---if average was a 5, then my 3 wasn't so bad after all.

I was also reminded of the range of my scores and that reminded me that different people write each question and grade it. So, it's obvious that the person who graded my Wills essay gave no points for about 10 things I mentioned that were also mentioned in the model essay. I could have written a letter to Santa on that essay and received as many points as I did actually writing about the issue (that would be 0 points). Yes, I got 0 points on an essay. It is a myth that if you identify the issue and write some basic, applicable rules, you'll get at least a point. Not true.

One point is all I have to recover, but I am aiming to recover a lot more. As for coverage, I am now down to Torts, Contracts, and Property (and their respective NC topics). I'm also down to 23 days until showtime. From today on out, it's at least 6 hours of studying a day until I take off time from work. At that point, it will be 8-10 hours a day. But, I will only be reviewing, which will be different than last time. Right now, I am feeling confident about the MBE, but not so confident about the essays. But, that is kinda where I expected to be at this point in the game---I wanted to get the MBE topics under my belt so that I could focus on memorizing NC law and writing essays in the home stretch.

I will pass the bar. I will pass the bar. I will pass the bar.