Great Losses by One Point

I am a big sports fan.  I love UNC.  I grew up watching sports (the Braves, Giants, and Syracuse were always on the TV or radio while I was growing up).  I always wondered how it must feel to be the one who misses the game-winning free throw or drops the winning hail Mary pass in the endzone at the last second of the game.

Somebody has to win and somebody has to lose.

Here are some memorable one point/last inning/last second losses:

1957: UNC beats Kansas by 1 point in 3 overtimes to win the NCAA championship.

1993:  Toronto Blue Jays beat the Philadelphia Phillies on a 3 run homer in the bottom of the ninth to win the World Series in Game 6

1997: Florida Marlins beats the Cleveland Indians by one run in the 11th inning to win the World Series in the 7th game

2005:  UNC loses to Dook 71-70 (but later beat Dook 75-73 and then went on to win the NCAA Championship.)

2008:  New York Giants beat undefeated New England Patriots on a pass with 35 seconds left on the clock to win the Super Bowl  (This game was particularly fun to watch in the heart of Patriot country---I kept my mouth shut as a Giants fan.)

Surely there are more (feel free to share your favorites)...

I am not the only one to lose by one point.  Next time, I'll do a better job of scouting my opponent and hope that my half-court shots are nothing-but-net and that I catch those hail-mary passes and that my 9th inning home run comes with bases loaded.

Better yet:  It will be a blow out.  Sorta like UNC's game last year against N.C. State.  That would be nice.

Under 21

I feel like I'm 20 again---everyone else is going out to party while I sit home and wait for the day that I am legal, too.  The good thing about that is that I eventually turned 21 and was able to join my friends as they pounded cheap Jell-O shots and sipped from Blue Cups at He's Not. Once I was there with them, I realized I had not really missed much at all.  I bet joining the bar in the spring will feel the same way.  Right now I'm hearing about what goes on at the bar, but soon I will be hung-over with the rest of them.  One difference, though: I can't "fake" sitting at this bar while hoping no one will ask me for my license.  Even trying to fake it at this bar will mean giving up my barstool forever.

Speaking of drinking (and trying to live up to my promise of talk about good food and drink), on Wednesday night, I joined a bunch of other Triangle-area beer nerds in welcoming Stone Brewing to NC.  I tried an 11th Anniversary (actually, 2) and an Oaked Arrogant Bastard.  The evening of libations at Tyler's was followed by dinner and dessert at The Federal.  I chose the bread pudding for dinner while my favorite dining companion enjoyed a big (yet very reasonably priced) plateful of rabbit.

At least I'm admitted to those bars.  And, in April, I'll be let in to the NC Bar.  I hope there's some good beer waiting for me.

One Point

That's all I failed it by.  One point.

I don't know what else to say about that right now, so I'm going to go to the gym, have a drink with a newly sworn in friend.  Just one more point on an essay.  One more multiple choice question answered correctly.

Just one more point and things would be different.  Wow.

Failing: How is that defined?

I saw this blog and it made me laugh (which, after today's events, was sorely needed):

Pictures of Failing Moments

Some of my favorites...

See, failure is defined in many ways. Somehow, oddly enough, I don't see pictures of anyone who did not pass the bar. We are not failures.

Jogging with Clichés

I admit: I am not a true runner...yet. While my dad and brother can go on and on about the "runner's high," I am not so convinced...yet. Don't get me wrong--I enjoy running while playing soccer, sprinting while playing tennis, and going on long hikes. But, *just* jogging (which is really what I am doing) is truly a mind over matter experience for me. Currently, I run about 2-3 miles, 2-3 times a week (depending on a lot of things like the weather, what I had for dinner, what time I get home, etc.) When I run with others or when I don't know how long a route is, I can go for longer which makes me know that I have a mental block when it comes to running on my neighborhood. I have a few loops that I run and once I get close to home, I lose steam although I could go another loop to increase my mileage. I only say all of this to let you know why running a half-marathon in February really is a tough goal. I am barely able to run 3 miles, much less 13!

Running is meditative for me. I rarely listen to music while I run, preferring to let my thoughts be the only noise between my ears. It seems that with every foot-strike of the pavement, another thought either enters my mind or becomes more clarified. Lately, as more things have been on my mind, I've truly come to appreciate that my father needed to go run to clear his head at the end of the day. Some people are morning runners. I am not and I wonder if I inherited that from Dad. I just cannot get myself out there in the a.m. to run...I much prefer the evening where you can smell dinners being prepared in the neighborhood or check out what beer or wine the neighbors prefer based on what's in the recycling bin. Actually, when I was younger, when dad was mad at us, he would go out for a run to calm down and to think about our consequences. We could always tell how much trouble we were in by the length of his run.

While I'm running, I often analogize running to whatever is the predominant concern of my life: runningis like studying for the bar exam, running is like failing the bar exam, running is like....

Some of the thoughts I had Tuesday evening while running in the rain (my favorite running condition):

• Running is like preparing for the bar exam:  everyone goes at their own pace and has their own style, but essentially we all have the same goal (finishing).
• Running is like studying for the bar and a lot like life: sometimes you've got to slow down, walk, and breathe deeply.  Running when you need to rest causes more harm than good.
• Running is like failing the bar: if you aren't able to meet your goal one day, you put your running shoes on the next day and try again.
• Running (and yoga) is like failing the bar exam: ultimately, you are your only judge and your harshest critic.
• Running is like life: sometimes the pace is steady, sometimes you run "in the zone," sometimes it takes all you've got to finish, sometimes you notice the flowers along the way, sometimes you don't.
• Training for a race is like preparing for the bar exam: you train and train and you hope that on race day, you'll be at your peak.
• Running in the rain reminded me that while being splashed with muddy water in a pain in the neck and a dirty inconvenience, most people do not intend to splash me, harm me, or otherwise annoy me.  For some reason, they are either not paying attention or are so concerned about their own issues to realize that I am running nearby.  I just keep running. 

Enough clichés for you?  Somehow there is comfort in those clichés at times.  I guess that's why clichés are so classic: when there's nothing more elaborate to say, sometimes the simplest saying or thought conveys the message the best. 

Running strengthens my mind and my body.  I'd like to think that preparing for the bar exam strengthens my mind, at the least.  However, I am beginning to think that what I am learning from this experience goes far beyond the original intent and scope of what I thought I would learn from it (torts, wills, property, contracts, etc.).  I am learning valuable lessons in humility, pride, self-respect, gratitude, and perhaps most importantly, just "being" in the moment and being at peace with what is.

It is what it is and this too shall pass.

Wednesdays

Wednesdays are my favorite day of the week, with Sunday morning coming in a close second place. Today was a nice Wednesday...work first and then a perfect "me" evening: a slow jog in the rain, yoga class, nachos with guac for dinner, reading the Indy over a glass of a favorite wine.

It has now been over 10 days since I got *that* letter. Today, I was able to request my score. I was almost beginning to forget about it as life is returning to some sense of normalcy. I'm enjoying this.

Threes

They say bad things happen in threes, right?  

A few weeks ago, my grandmother died.  Then I learned that I failed the bar exam.  And today, I learned that the victim of a domestic violence related homicide was an employee at one of the restaurants I work at. I saw her just a few weeks ago.

In the big scheme of things, not passing the bar exam is not the worst that can happen to me.  I am grateful for what I do have in my life: health, love, and happiness...and a safe place to call "home."