Tactile and Left-Brained

Makes me sound like a dinosaur.

A friend came over last night and brought a book titled How to Learn Anything Quickly. She has been trying to decipher her own style and suggested I do the same since we are both in the enviable position of having to study AGAIN for the Bar exam.

After going through a few quizzes, turns out I'm a tactile, left-brained learner. The left-brain part didn't surprise me much considering that I've always been good at things with words (spelling, writing, foreign language, etc.) However, I didn't realize that I was a tactile learner, although in retrospect, it does make sense.

I take horrible notes (ask my 2 study buddy classmates). See, I don't take notes to read them later---I take them so that I can remember things. That's why I had to go to class in order to learn (law school anyway, not high school or college). If I borrowed someone else's notes, I realized that I didn't learn the material as well.

While studying for the bar, in the last 2 weeks before the exam, I made colored posters of the North Carolina topics and plastered them all over the walls. What was on my posters, I remember. What I didn't write down (like contracts regarding wills), I didn't learn (and consequently received a "0" on that essay on the exam!)

As I slowly begin to get back to studying, I've been thinking about the best way to go about it. Since I *do* have 4 months to study this time around (instead of 2 months last time), I have some flexibility regarding a study schedule.

Things I will do like last time:

• Make posters of main topics (though I already have posters made, it's the making of the posters that helps me, not the mere reading them)
• Write rules on dry-erase board ad nauseum (write rule, erase, write rule, erase)
• Make post-it notes of rules to post around house

Things I will do differently:

• While listening to PMBR CDs (which I did in the car), I will take notes (did not do that last time)
• Find cases that deal with a certain topic of the law (in law school, I loved reading cases that dealt with tough topics for me to handle---putting faces and facts to the rules helped me remember and conceptualize the laws in action).
• NOT sit through another BarBri videotaped lecture and fill out outlines (*not* my style of learning since I only seem to remember what I wrote down and not the whole sentence--some outlines were better than others, but where there were only 2-3 blanks per page, my mind would wander)
• After doing a multiple choice question, write down the rule of law (in a notebook, on a dry-erase board, anywhere) instead of just reading the answer
• Not take off a whole month to study

I put my supplemental application in the mail yesterday. I should get my graded essays sometime next week. Time is going by quicker than I thought it would. Before long, I'll be back into the land of Torts, Contracts, Constitutional law (though, at the rate this administration is going, this will be a moot topic as there will be no constitutional rights that are still honored), and my favorite topic, Property (not really).

One thing about the NC Bar Exam is that you only get your scores if you fail. So, when I find out that I passed in March, I won't know my score. It would be interesting to know if these proposed changes in studying actually make a measurable difference.

I actually love reading about and learning the law. I just don't like studying for the Bar exam. They are not the same thing (as anyone who has taken a Bar exam knows).

Enough about studying...I promise an update shortly about the Durham Beer Fest last weekend. Last weekend was definitely one of those perfect weekends where I truly felt grateful to be on this Earth and in this space that I'm in now---having passed the Bar in July would not have made me any happier.

The Morning After--Disappointment Hangover

Two days after I got my "unsuccessful" letter, I am told I am managing well. Mornings are the hardest so far, mainly because when I am awaken by dogs or my internal alarm clock, I can't fall back asleep because I am thinking about the fact that I did not pass the NC Bar exam.

"I regret to inform you that you were unsuccessful on the July 2008 North Carolina Bar Exam." Now, when I opened that letter, I knew that some people would not pass. I did not think I would be one of them. All I had heard for the past 2-3 months was "You'll be fine!" or "Don't worry, I'm sure you aced it!" Or, my personal favorite...."My brother is stupid as can be. If he can pass it, so can you." I know these were all well-intentioned comments, but the bar exam is really a crapshoot. I studied nearly 10 hours a day for the whole month of July. I took BarBri and PMBR. I did 30 multiple choice questions a day. I made notecards, posters, charts. I studied harder in that month than I have ever studied before. And I failed.

By how much? Who knows? In NC, you can only see your score if you fail and request to see the report. But, I have to wait 2 weeks in order to request that. So, as of today, I don't know whether it was the essays that did me in (I felt confident, but essays have never been my strong point) or the MBE (I ran out of time and guessed on a large handful).

The good things:

• I do not have debt from law school (nor any other debt other than the mortgage) and technically, I am still employed in a place where I do not need a license to practice.
• I have a wonderfully supportive family (including my father who is an elementary school guidance counselor and as such, is used to helping kids deal with feelings of failure and disappointment)
  
• Steadfast friends who were surprised that someone as smart as I am (their words) could fail this test (there MUST be something wrong with the test, they say).
  
• The best boyfriend in the whole world who assures me he still loves me even though I failed the bar (and makes sure that my wine or beer glass is always full).
  

In the meantime, I will try to figure out a plan for the next 5-6 months. Surely that will be plenty of time to learn all I need to know about the law. I am also going to train for a half-marathon, with the hope of being successful at something. It has always been a goal of mine to run a marathon, so I figure that I can work towards accomplishing that goal while I work on this other goal of passing the Bar Exam. The tentative plan is to run the Myrtle Beach Half-Marathon on Valentine's Day, with abovementioned BF...2 weeks before Bar Exam: Take 2.

Off to find those stories of famous people who have failed the Bar Exam....